Kill Bill is better than Holes.

Nick was kind enough to remind me days ago that is was high time for another blog- he also is in favor of my blog being named "Excuses."

...anyways...

I have things to share to make up for my actual LACK of something to interesting to blog about... First and foremost I just finished painting my nails for the six millionth time this week- around three quarters ago Keanan did me the favor of stating "Your nails always look so trashy... it's kind of just a Jill thing now." I don't know how it could have possibly been meant as a compliment but... That's Nan for you. Anyways I put on my best "Bitch, no you didn't" face and have been keeping my nails fully painted since the encounter.

(College has instilled in me the unfortunate habit of measuring all time in quarters. I refer to celebrities by their first names and I measure time in quarters. Caitlin just assured me that people love many things about me and she's sure my quirkiness is one of them.)

SO, back to the atrocious polish story... Kate was getting ready to run some errand and so I called her in and pointed to the picture pulled up on my laptop and said something like, "I love you. You look very pretty today. I love your hair and that color on you- we need trash bags and MAYBE... depending if you actually love me... This nail polish color." She bowed deeply and then backed out of the room continuing with slightly more shallow bows- geisha style- and was gone. No she didn't. But in a perfect world...

Kate returned three hours later and produced a bottle of polish that was not at all the color that she and I had agreed upon... However- as I explained to Caitlin, as we sat in the back of my pickup by the beach watching the sunset and playing Uno- I love presents! I love presents and I respond well to presents no matter what they are or how off the color. So when kate held out the bottle my response was a good one, "That is a completely different color and I can from see the way the light glints off it that it plans to clash with my skin WAY more than I thought was possible! Thank you!" Kate handed me a bag of groceries and said "Well the color is pretty and it's green- it's the closest I could find on short notice." Then we went our separate ways- Me to watch True Blood (shhhhhut up.) and her to... do mother-going-through-nursing-school things.


Back in the safety of my room I side-eyed the polish good and hard and then followed up with an "I got this all day." and proceeded to apply it nervously to my nails- which, for the record, had been a deep space blue with a gold star trek badge painted on my thumb. The blog is a safe place- I feel no fear discussing the extent of my inner nerd. ...outer nerd. nerd. (Currently listening to Mr. Roboto- domo arigato shuffle, for proving my point.)

Anyways the color is... oh, it's like an acid green. The color reminds me of that scene in Holes when the warden shows Mr. Sir the difference between abuse and control and slaps him (abuse.) The Warden, let's call her Sigourney Weaver, has just painted her nails with a red polish- the color of which can only be achieved through the use of rattlesnake poison and Mr. Sir's face puffs up like Budd's in Kill Bill Vol 2. Then Shia Labeouf snatches Sigourney Weaver's eye out and digs a whole where he finds a priceless Hatori Hanzo sword and- i'm getting carried away. Kill Bill is better than Holes. That's the moral of this entire blog. My nails are currently painted the frightening color to the left and i'm pretty sure Holes would have been a better movie if Sigourney Weaver had painted her nails this shade.

You just read almost 700 words dedicated to my nail polish and I'm proud of you...

OH! I have a story from earlier that has to do with when Caitlin and I were watching the sunset in the back of my truck and playing Uno- NEXT TIME! Don't let me forget! That is all!